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couldn't help myself [08 Aug 2004|11:51pm]
...and the results are pretty good too

Brooke and Ari Hest
  • Might adopt two robot girls.
  • Pretend to skinnydip as it mightn't lead to pregnancy
  • Are the cutest couple that there ever will be.
Orchestrated by ianiceboy
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[08 Aug 2004|11:49pm]
Matthew and Brooke
  • May one day have four Elven girls.
  • Intend to play all kinds of games when permitted.
  • Look out for each other.
Orchestrated by ianiceboy

Mathles and Booftie
  • May one day have two happy children.
  • Are prone to watch television sweetly.
  • Are Hollywood's hottest couple.
  • Unquestionably deserve each other.
Orchestrated by ianiceboy
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What do you expect in a city where Ryan Seacrest is a popular morning radio DJ [10 Jun 2004|12:12pm]
Only in L.A. would "O.S.R." be a term that's actually used in conversation. (For those folks who aren't down with the lingo, it stands for "off-screen relationship.")

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Warning [31 May 2004|12:03pm]
Brooke has fragile contents which may break!


B is radioactive. Wear protective clothing at all times.


Look out for the




Sucky is poisonous! Induce vomitting if ingested.


Booftie is a radioactive squirrel!!

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[23 May 2004|01:21pm]
Back when I was dating my last boyfriend, we started throwing around the pet name, "baby," a little too much. And then one day, I accidentally called my mom "baby."

And then I felt really stupid.
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And now...a shameless plug [21 May 2004|11:20am]
This boy is gonna be big, and he deserves it.

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[20 May 2004|02:49pm]
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My boss calls me "Nookie" [18 May 2004|08:19pm]
[ mood | intimidated ]

Today I realized that my car has no vanity mirrors...not that it would be expected that the driver of a 1985 Chevy Celebrity in Los Angeles could even begin to be vain.

Ari Hest is the bees' knees.

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[16 May 2004|12:38pm]
[ mood | discontent ]

Last night, I dreamt that I was good friends with 50 Cent.

Go shorty. It's your birthday.

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It's a wild and crazy Friday night [15 May 2004|12:34am]
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[09 May 2004|02:39pm]
[ mood | sweaty isn't a mood ]

My new album title (in what must be #212 in a running series of imaginary albums) is Absolute Indecision.

I would also like that on a t-shirt.

Double Duchess

(Note to self: Add Double Duchess to list of t-shirts after Absolute Indecision.)

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[07 May 2004|12:19pm]
Once upon a time as in two months ago to be precise there were two very clever elephants and their names were Alo and Drako. And they lived in the jungle and one day they had their friend Henrota the friendly owl come by and gave them a strange letter from our other friend Germy the moose and it said :

Dear Alo and Drako I am informing you on the GREAT ELEPHANT RACE I can not be in it but as you probably have noticed it says THE GREAT ELEPHANT RACE and it does not say THE GREAT MOOSE RACE and any way I was wondering if you would like to be a part of THE GREAT ELEPHANT RACE and so lets cut to the chase it is at WEAPON FLORIDA and here is the grand prize a 15 year supply of peanuts well I might be watching you there.

And then for the whole night they thought about THE GREAT ELEPHANT RACE and thought about alllllllll the work they would have to do and then they thought about the grand prize and alllllll those peanuts ummmmm how yummy all the peanuts would be and allll that work. Well they both woke up to the sound of the Toucans loud chirp and while they ate their breakfast which in case you were wondering was TOUKE TOUCANS TOUKO CEAREAL which actually is very tasty well they talked about the race and kind of said to their heads the good and bad consequences of the race and then they made a HARD HARD choice and together said:OKAY FINE I'LL BE IN THE ELEPHANT RACE and then said jinxy jinxy nock on my door I won't give you a cookie!!!!!!!!
So after they had breakfast they had a talk with Mrs.Rattle Snako to get some advice on how to become fit for the race and she told them to: charge through the biggest stream in our big jungle that they lived in, and then run through the elophanto tree track , and then to chase their friend Timmyo the tiger through the river , then to chase Liono the lion through the elophanto tree track but just please take a moment to also exercise here at my big tree so you'll both be ready for your tasks. So then the two elephants as in Alo and Drako started stretching their trunks up at the tree and also tried to lean and stretch their body towards the big tree. Then they both walked rather fast to the biggest stream in their jungle and once they were there they took a deep breath and started running through the biggest river in their jungle and the river's name is Junglo Rivero just in case you were wondering and well any way they ran and ran through the river and then in a little while they finished the first task now for the second task.
Well first I must tell you that mostly allllllll the things in their jungle ends in yo or o.Well then they walked some more over to the elophant tree track and once they were there they both took a deeep breath and then a big big stretch.And they were off with having some troubles on dodging the many many many trees in the race ways tracks.And anyway they were off to a good start at first but then there were more trees and they both got really tired but they kept on running and dodging the trees then a little bit longer than they expected they both finished.
So then oh only then they had to find Timmyo the tiger and that my brother, mom, dad, and sister took a while.Then finally they found him and asked him if he could help them get through their task of the river tiger thingy well Timmyo the tiger being a VERY VERY busy tiger said:okay but just for a little while.
Well then a few minutes later they came across the Junglo Rivero and then Timmyo the tiger started racing through the river and actually the elephants were doing pretty good with keeping up with Timmyo the tiger and after a little while they had finished the river AT LAST the elephants said together.Well then anyway then they had to chase Liono the lion through the Elophanto Tree Track. So first the elephants started looking for Liono the lion and it was much harder to find Liono than it was to find Timmyo. But anyway they finally found him eating a rather large monkey but still a monkey and so they then asked him:could you help us get through the Tree Track thingy and he answered:OKAY FINE but only until it is sunset.So then they found the Tree Track and Liono the lion was off to a pretty good start and the elephants did too and they dodged and ran and dodged and ran until they finished the track.Then they as in the elephants said thank you Liono and then he leaped away and the elephants said lets go home and they did and then they went to sleep and the next day they knew was the race.
The next day they were awoken to the sound of once again the sound of a toucan's loud chirp.And they were up and standing in a flash and hurried down their tree house's stair type thingys and ate their cearel very quickly and then saw to their luck a ship with cars on it pulling in and they hurried to get on board and so they then hid behind a very large car which was probably a mini van by the looks of it.S o then they heard the ship's captain say: SHIP LEAVING JUNGLE AND GOING TO CITY OF WEAPON FLORIDA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!So then the elephants thought they were in high high high luck and so well it took a while but finally they reached WEAPON FLORIDA and hurried off and found THE GREAT ELEPHANT RACE sign and then raced towards it and then found the race's race track so then they got in line for the check in and once it was their turn to sign in they wrote their names on the paper with their trunks.
So then they got at their places and heard the anouncer say: THE RACE WILL START SHORTLY!!!!!!!So they started stretching and then began looking for GERMY THE MOOSE and saw him waving at them from the bleachers and they knew he would be cheering them on. And after about 9 minutes they heard the anouncer say: THE RACE IS STARTING NOW!!!!!!!!!So then they saw a man in a white shirt and black pants wave his flag up and down then heard a loud boom and they were off with a 3rd place lead they dashed through an awfully hard track with a lot of trees and bushes and you would have to dodge then they finished that part of the race with a 2nd place win. So the next race was through a river that was awfully deep and then ended that part of the race with a 3rd place win.Then for the last part of the race and that had water and trees in it and saw that there was scary fish at the bottom of the water so they ran and ran and ran and dodged and dodged and dodged and then they could see the finish line right ahead of them and luckly they were in first place!!!!!!!!How exciting it was for them and then they charged for the finish line and then before the knew it they had won the race!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!And GERMY was there yelling YAH YEH HA WOA YEH!!!!!!!!!And then the judge gave them a trophy and a HUGE HUGE HUGE supply of peanuts and they were so proud of each other so then they gave each other a nudge and said I couldn't do it without you.

The Great Elephant Race
by: Alex Shepard
December 2003
For my brother Drake
Merry Christmas!
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Take me to the flipside [04 May 2004|11:28am]
[ mood | nostalgic ]

Never have I found a more suitable way to illustrate the fantasies that consumed me as a young child.

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[01 May 2004|12:43am]
From the whiz kids who brought you hours upon hours of gamey fun-time with

Ethnic Darkness,

Dario Lamberti Skeleton Key and

I Can't Believe It's not Jihad...Spray


Jesse Jackson Improv!

These really are some of the best games ever...and make fine band names as well.

The Girl
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"Hey, hey, hey...what is going on here??" [23 Apr 2004|02:28am]
Mr. Belding bought me a drink tonight. As in THE Mr. Belding...Dennis Haskins. He's just as you'd expect him to be in all of his living-off-royalties splendor...overweight, drunk, white jeans, etc. And I had the surreal pleasure of seeing him sing "Friends In Low Places" for karaoke.

Only in L.A...well technically Burbank (a place that's possibly more bizarre than Los Angeles itself)

Mr. Belding's Girl
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[20 Apr 2004|04:19pm]
[ mood | calm ]

There's a man who stands outside Trader Joe's in Silver Lake and sells stories for a dollar. I think they may even have illustrations. I wanted to buy one today, but alas...I had no dollar.

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[14 Apr 2004|11:19pm]
They have billboards for avacados.

Only in L.A. (ok..perhaps there are actually billboards for avacados in other areas besides L.A...but I still found it rather amusing)
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[13 Apr 2004|12:17am]
[ mood | lethargic ]

Today was uneventful. (That's always the best way to begin a journal entry.) Though two young guys in a car asked if they could watch me eat the popsicle I was eating.

And the guy I met up with on Saturday apparently spent his Easter Sunday afternoon in Venice with the DeNiro family...

...as in Robert and his daughter, Drena.

Only in L.A.

The Girl

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[11 Apr 2004|01:24pm]

The Girl
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REBOOT [11 Apr 2004|01:02pm]
So I'm taking over this journal, and I've decided to fill it with nothing but daily recaps of the ridiculousness that is LA LA land.

Unfortunately, I've got over 5 months of content that I didn't get the chance to cover...so for now I'll just start with last night.

I was sitting on my couch taking a swig of a Michelob Ultra, and less than a couple hours later I was taking a swig from a tequila bottle that some guy from Cypress Hill handed me.

Only in LA.

The Girl
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